Should you ever find yourself in Brunei, the little country of about 400,000 that shares Borneo with Malaysia and Indonesia, here’s my suggestions on what you should do.
1. Stay in Kiulap or Gadong.
2. Download the Dart App before arriving.
3. Arrive after 2pm on a Friday.
4. Friday afternoon: take a boat taxi B$1 to the floating village of Kampong Ayer. Do the free self-guided walk along the piers. Take pictures of the Omar Ali Saifuddien mosque at sunset. Get a good night’s sleep because it was probably a wild journey to get here.
My guide for Kampong Ayer 
5. Saturday: Go to Temburong National Park. Book tour ahead of time. Go to Gadong Night Market for dinner. Bring B$1 bills. Stay until you’re out of them.
Cleanest, most organized night market ever 
It’s all about the Roti here 
Fried tofu at a market! 
The French fries have smiley faces 
I mean… 
it’s so cute. 
The popular ‘Life Drink”
6. Sunday: Sleep in because it’s Sunday. Go to Jerudong Beach for brunch. Walk around and see the Sultan’s horses at the stables. Around 2pm go to the Jame’ Air Hassanil Bolkiah Mosque, go inside. At 3pm head to the Empire Hotel for High Tea and plan to hang for a while. Watch sunset. Head to Jerudong Park until it closes and ride the Ferris wheel until you just can’t take it anymore. Go grab a snack at the JP Food Court, or don’t because you’ve already eaten enough today.
7. Monday: Head on to your next stop.
Just my suggestions should you ever find yourself in Brunei.
This is not what I did.
1. I arrived at 12:30pm on a Friday. Everything, I mean everything, is required to be closed for Friday prayer from 12-2pm.
2. I stayed in Old Town Bandar. Good to walk to Kampung Ayer and the mosque, but not much else.
3. I took a last minute city tour with my Airbnb hosts which basically was a taxi ride around the city. It went like this. Drive here. Do you want to take a picture? Ok, on to next place. It also involved picking up kids from school, getting gas and running out of time which caused the one day tour to be split into two days. It was perfectly timed to arrive most places just as they were closing or too late to come back and explore. My hosts were incredibly sweet people and while this sounds kind of ridiculous it was actually fun getting to know them. In a country where there is almost no infrastructure for tourism and visitors I give my hosts full respect for trying to do what they can to be welcoming and trying to show visitors around Brunei.
4. Brunei has its own ride share app, Dart. Figured no problem and I’d download when I landed and get around. No such luck. Either it didn’t like me because I was on an iPhone or because I was American, I could not register despite trying, deleting, trying again, trying another phone and eventually having to email their support deal for help. Meanwhile there are very few taxis and the bus system requires a local consultant so I was stuck within walking distance of my Airbnb for the first night. Dinner at the mall food court was surprisingly good though.
5. I tried to take the bus. Really I wanted to. Everything I’d read said it was safe and affordable, if you could figure it out. So I asked my Airbnb host if they could tell me which line to take. They didn’t know but said I should just go to the bus station and ask someone there. Ok, that makes sense. So I found the bus station, but no one that works there. There’s just a map, a good guess, and the then asking the bus driver if you’re on the right bus. So I took a guess and went to bus 55. When I tried to get on everyone on the bus asked me where I was going to try and help. It was really really endearing actually. I tell them the name of some random vegetarian restaurant and show them the Google map, and they all discuss, and then tell me to go to bus 20. Ok, thank you so much and I go to bus 20. Repeat same thing on bus 20. Passengers ask where I am going. I say the name of the restaurant and show them the map and one lady takes control. She is sure I need to be on bus 55. Ok, thank you very much and I go back to bus 55. I get back to bus 55 and tell them that the lady from bus 20 said I needed to be on bus 55. Everyone discusses and sends me back to bus 20. Ok, thank you very much and I head back to bus 20. I get to bus 20 and tell the lady that the people on bus 55 said I needed to be on bus 20. She takes my phone and says no, bus 55. Then she says bus 1. Then a lady from bus 55 comes over and kinda yells at the lady from bus 20 and I try to get on bus 20 but the control lady still won’t let me get on bus 20 and so I give up and walked to the food court (see 4.) I’m never did take the bus in Brunei.
6. I went to High Tea at the Empire Hotel on the same day I went to the night market. You cannot go to High Tea and eat everything you can possibly stuff into your body for two hours until you run out of time because it’s the most expensive meal I’ll likely have in Asia before going to the night market where everything is B$1. Your body just doesn’t have that kind of capacity.
Sparkling apple juice because there’s no alcohol in Brunei. 
7. I had dismissed the idea of Jerudong Park, the nicest amusement park in SE Asia. Just didn’t seem like my thing. Until the one day turned two day drive by tour drove by Jerudong Park at 7:30pm on Sunday night (the night before I leave) only to see how very very nice it was and also how it was almost completely empty and wonder how many times you could ride the ferris wheel all by yourself only to end up stuck on the second half of your tour which should have been over the day before which has now dropped you off at the mall to walk around and look for souvenirs while the other guy on the tour goes to a famous chicken stand for dinner.
These again are just my suggestions and experiences. Should you every find yourself near Brunei and can get over the idea of Sharia law hovering over you, Brunei is pretty different. There is virtually no traffic, there are no taxes at all, medical care costs B$1 ($.75US), the people are so so so friendly, kind and helpful (even when they’re not) and English is widely spoken. The whole country is funded by the Sultan of Brunei and whatever money is leftover after he buys 7,000 cars, hundreds of houses and horses, yachts and jets, hosts Michael Jackson or Paris Hilton goes to building amusement parks for the Bruneians or museums for himself.
Next stop, Singapore.
Love,
rk
Buddha & Boots 